I have realized this week that I have always depended on my husband for my security. I believed that he would always work hard to provide for our needs. I believed that he would always have a job because there are always jobs for truckers. Now I know that I have depended on him more than I have depended on God. God needs to be my security. So, I have begun to have discussions with God about this, confessing that I have not always put Him first.
Craig and I have been talking about the cabin. When we were looking for a cabin 10 years ago we were just looking for a place to go to get away from the city. However, the cabin has become the place we want to live. We began to dream about how we could move up there - first we talked about retirement, and then about just living up there always.
When we took an honest look at life we realized a couple of things:
- the cabin is not in a good area for finding a job year round.
- we are not even close to retirement. We need to work for at least 10 more years.
We need to enjoy the cabin when we can go up there, but not dream about living there. At least not yet.
Finally, one more area of my life that I've been examining is my quiet time, my devotions. I say that I am a Christian, and I do love the Lord and have asked Him into my heart years ago , but I fall far short in the amount if time I spend with Him. It's so easy to be too busy to have devotions. Some of my excuses: I'm too tired and He deserves to have time with me when I am better able to focus; I have to get these tasks done first; I've already prayed in the car or read my devotion while at work; etc. I'm really going to try to give God some of my best time - and sit at His feet instead of getting busy doing other things.