This has been an extremely stressful week. I found out on Tuesday that the school where I am the secretary may not be open next year. For the teachers that would mean that they would be moving to other schools - most of them have been at our school for many years, so it feels like we're losing our family. For the students and their families it would mean that they too will be going to other schools farther from home. They would be losing their neighborhood school, but their neighborhood would stay together. For me it would probably mean that I will no longer be an elementary school secretary. I have enough seniority to stay in the school district, but I would move to a lower classification - a different job in a different place with lower pay. Not only would I lose my "family" at my school, but I lose the job that I have wanted and that I love, and I lose income. While I have been trying to come to terms with this news I have had to try to help parents and staff members understand what's happening. I have tried to stay positive, to hope for the best, to continue to do my best at my job.
I have been crying out to God to help me not to worry about the future. My worries will not change my circumstances, but only negatively affect my attitude (and possibly my health.) I have asked God to help me to rest in His assurances that He will never leave me. And I have asked Him to help me use this time to witness to the people around me - to tell others who are hurting about how He is taking care of me. I want to show love.
It is hard to be a Christian sometimes in this situation. So many people around me are saying negative things; they're critical and they spread rumors. They are mad. I want to be positive. I want to pray for the people with whom I disagree - not talk about them to others.
I am so thankful for God's Word. It is a balm to my soul, a standard when everything around me is shifting. I cling to God's promises.
I am also thankful fro Christian radio. Almost every song that comes on speaks directly to me and helps me to put my eyes where they should be - not on my circumstances but on the only One who knows the future.